7 Major Hypocrisies of the Typical American Conservative
I am uber pro-gun for the reason that I mistrust my government so much I believe that if given the chance it may one day attack its own people.
Don’t question our government’s motives in Iraq or any other military operation. Our government spreads freedom and democracy and every soldier is a hero.
(So the US government can’t be trusted to protect its own people but definitely can be trusted to protect foreigners…interesting.)
Services provided by the government and paid for by taxpayers are necessary when it comes to all the services that DIRECTLY benefit me, me, me – like medicaid, social security, and the public school my kid uses.
Services provided by the government and paid for by taxpayers are evil, socialist and Hitlerian if they don’t directly benefit me, me, me.
(Right…I see…so it is only socialist or whatever when you aren’t directly benefiting from it. I get it now.)
I believe in small government, really small government. I don’t want the law sticking its nose where it doesn’t belong, like into my rights. Nor should it be forcing a certain way of life on me and my family.
The government should aggressively enforce the arbitrary morality of my Christian religion and prevent women from controlling their bodies and gays from leading sanctioned family lives. Equally important, Islam must never be spoken of in our schools.
(Okay, so what you really meant was the government should enforce YOUR social philosophies but guard against everyone else’s.)
Scientists are to be interrogated and monitored closely and looked at with the highest degree of skepticism – after all, asking questions is a good thing.
My Christian/Mormon views are inviolable and questioning or critiquing them is a violation of my freedoms. Islam, however, should be recognized for the fascist nonsense that it is.
(So…we should question the things that YOU don’t like or understand but not your deepest held spiritual beliefs. Mmmhm.)
Affirmative action is reverse racism.
Legacy is totally cool because um…er…money somehow equals merit.
(So you want Black Americans to live in a meritocracy while white people should be able to buy their way into college.)
Fighting for your country and beliefs is a good thing and shows bravery when it is in defense of your deepest held beliefs.
Everyone that opposes American hegemony and anyone defending themselves against American aggression is a terrorist and evil.
(Oh right, I remember now. When Americans kill people in a conflict it is for selfless, good reasons but when people fight back it’s because they’re evil.)
Iran is an evil country that abuses its women, kills homosexuals, and hates freedom.
Saudi Arabia is cool because they’re our friend. Women shouldn’t have reproductive freedom. And gays need to stay in the closet.
(Why do I even try? Although to be fair many liberals feel this way about Iran and S.A. specifically, including apparently Obama.)