7 Major Hypocrisies of the Typical American Conservative

FIRST ONE

I am uber pro-gun for the reason that I mistrust my government so much I believe that if given the chance it may one day attack its own people.

Don’t question our government’s motives in Iraq or any other military operation. Our government spreads freedom and democracy and every soldier is a hero.

(So the US government can’t be trusted to protect its own people but definitely can be trusted to protect foreigners…interesting.)

SECOND ONE

Services provided by the government and paid for by taxpayers are necessary when it comes to all the services that DIRECTLY benefit me, me, me – like medicaid, social security, and the public school my kid uses.

Services provided by the government and paid for by taxpayers are evil, socialist and Hitlerian if they don’t directly benefit me, me, me.

(Right…I see…so it is only socialist or whatever when you aren’t directly benefiting from it. I get it now.)

THIRD ONE

I believe in small government, really small government. I don’t want the law sticking its nose where it doesn’t belong, like into my rights. Nor should it be forcing a certain way of life on me and my family.

The government should aggressively enforce the arbitrary morality of my Christian religion and prevent women from controlling their bodies and gays from leading sanctioned family lives. Equally important, Islam must never be spoken of in our schools.

(Okay, so what you really meant was the government should enforce YOUR social philosophies but guard against everyone else’s.)

FOURTH ONE

Scientists are to be interrogated and monitored closely and looked at with the highest degree of skepticism – after all, asking questions is a good thing.

My Christian/Mormon views are inviolable and questioning or critiquing them is a violation of my freedoms. Islam, however, should be recognized for the fascist nonsense that it is.

(So…we should question the things that YOU don’t like or understand but not your deepest held spiritual beliefs. Mmmhm.)

FIFTH ONE

Affirmative action is reverse racism.

Legacy is totally cool because um…er…money somehow equals merit.

(So you want Black Americans to live in a meritocracy while white people should be able to buy their way into college.)

SIXTH ONE

Fighting for your country and beliefs is a good thing and shows bravery when it is in defense of your deepest held beliefs.

Everyone that opposes American hegemony and anyone defending themselves against American aggression is a terrorist and evil.

(Oh right, I remember now. When Americans kill people in a conflict it is for selfless, good reasons but when people fight back it’s because they’re evil.)

SEVENTH ONE

Iran is an evil country that abuses its women, kills homosexuals, and hates freedom.

Saudi Arabia is cool because they’re our friend. Women shouldn’t have reproductive freedom. And gays need to stay in the closet.

(Why do I even try? Although to be fair many liberals feel this way about Iran and S.A. specifically, including apparently Obama.)

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3 Comments on “7 Major Hypocrisies of the Typical American Conservative

  1. While I do agree that a lot of what you said is part of the modern Conservative view, I think conservatives are changing and will change in the next 10 years. Most of the hypocrisies are owned by the older generation of conservatives that are part of the current Republican party. However, I think the party recognizes that it will lose on most issues because the majority of people in densely populated areas are a lot more liberal socially even if they are conservatives.

    I am not ashamed to admit I am a conservative but I do not support the current republican party mainly for a lot of the issues that you brought up. Republicans get a bad wrap because of what is portrayed by the current republican party but a lot of what they stand for is not the republican ideology in its real form. Our whole political system is wrapped up in this idea that the U.S. is a christian state and a lot of the Republican party believes that if their religious views are not integrated into their policy, they will lose votes. I think that alone is complete bullshit and should be outlawed because of the simple idea of “Separation of Church and State,” something that used to be important in our country.

    However, once the current party crazies disappears in the next 10 years, I really feel that the republican party will have a major reformation. Hopefully, we can move to a more fiscally responsible and socially liberal party. However, we need to gut out money in politics or that will never work. No matter how moral you think you are, if someone drops a bag of cash into your pocket, you will more than likely take it and be owned, which is most of the Republicans, and a lot of the Democrats right now. Thanks Cock Brothers. (Koch if you didnt get it)

    I want to go over each of those points you made and give a rebuttal but I am currently working and have already wasted enough time as it is. So, that will have to wait for a future time where we can debate the shit out of this over some cocktails and cigarettes… Love ya John!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great list and analysis; your points make a lot of sense. However, it is important to be mindful that there is hypocrisy among liberals as well. (I’m saying this as someone who is mainly progressive, but doesn’t fit neatly into the “liberal camp.”)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sorry I took so long to approve this comment. I guess I just missed it. Anyway you won’t have to go through ‘approval’ anymore.

      Indeed, I totally agree with you. I discuss liberal hypocrisies at length in some of my articles.

      Liked by 1 person

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