Sex: A Meeting of Urges, Not Identities
Fucking is a power dynamic. The feminist myth that equality can be achieved between partners within the act of sex is as ridiculous as it is unsubstantiated. Furthermore, the feminist contention with penetration is entirely arbitrary. The notion that penetration is somehow inherently subjugating or denigrating to the receiver is predicated on little more than the insecurities and warped vantage points of what can only be described as sexual simpletons. That the penis and its purpose automatically render one dominator in sex speaks to the infantile and dichotomous mentality of feminists. Their hysterical and juvenile approach not only misses the point but dismisses the obvious power that receivers retain in the act of engulfing another’s body. Lastly, that individuality should at all be considered in sex only highlights that people like Dworkin fundamentally misunderstand it as a congress of identities when in fact it is a congress of urges.
Whether we are talking about two men, two women, or a heterosexual pair, merely because one person is inserting something into the other scarcely means the other is demeaned or subjugated. Is it not possible to ride a man into submission, forcing him to groans helplessly under the thrall of gyrating hips while your anus or vagina engulfs and overwhelms his penis? Why can a vagina or anus swallowing a cock not be considered empowering? Is this not a state of mind? Is this not actually a matter of who has confidently taken the reigns of the entire act of sex as a vehicle – as opposed to it all simply being a matter of whose penis is where?
And why must submission be bad? Why does getting on one’s knees and sucking a penis or having cum splattered over one’s face in the ecstasy of male orgasm be considered reduction as opposed to elation? Submission, letting one’s body go and releasing control, requires far more courage and trust than taking reigns ever could. This is a matter of mind frames, not what and where a body part is. Driving a car can be as fun as being driven ladies and gentlemen.
Neither partner can be in control at the same time. There will always be one partner exerting more control over the vehicle of sex than the other, but this control can change hands as fluidly as can the desire to control or submit. Neither is inherently bad, nor are they associated with any one body part. The penis does not become domination and the vagina and anus do not represent submission. Those that suggest otherwise are either afraid or entirely ignorant of what sex is. Ultimately, these naysayers are uncomfortable with sex and maybe for everyone’s sake they shouldn’t participate if they find it so disconcerting.
Consent is important. Having fun is important. Trusting is important. But whether you are penetrating or engulfing, this is fundamentally unimportant.