ANAL SEX: For Beginners
I’m not lying when I say that as a sodomite practitioner of the dark arts of sex, a shit-ton of hetero-men have asked me about how to broach the topic of anal intercourse with their lady friends.
In my whopping two and a half decades on this planet I’ve probably been approached close to a hundred times both seriously and semi-facetiously on the topic and so I figure it may be appropriate to publish something. There is, of course, stuff out there but most of it is bullshit and frankly, no one knows anal better than The Gayz.
Let’s first discuss the difference between men and women when it comes to anal fucking, for there are some biological disparities and they make a difference. The biggest is the prostate gland which is used for creating alkaline fluid so that semen can survive in the acidic environment of the vagina. The prostate contributes about 30% of the fluid to the ejaculate. It is located just after the bladder and surrounds the urethra which is why when it is inflamed it can impede urination.
Women don’t need a prostate gland and so don’t receive the same sensation that men can, which is incredible. It can actually induce orgasm. The experience of male orgasm while the prostate is being stimulated is a substantial one. I would put it at ten times the pleasure of a normal orgasm during intercourse. The pressure created by a penis, dildo, or even something small like a finger, creates an immensely satisfying sensation before and during release and I highly recommend that all men try this at least once. Women can also gain pleasure from anal sex and I have several female friends who thoroughly enjoy the experience and many people derive pleasure from not just the physical sensation but also the psychological aura it inspires.
Talking About It
It is likely a given that most people are at least interested in trying anal sex so how do we broach the topic with our partners? Well first we need to ask them and start a dialogue. If you are too uncomfortable to have this conversation then you shouldn’t be having sex in the first place. Sex needs to be discussed openly and maximizing the pleasure and adventure with committed partners makes it a necessity. Make sure that you’ve done some reading so that you can answer some basic questions your partner might have and recommend that your partner do some reading of their own. Make sure your sources are legitimate ones like some of the links I have provided. Religious and moral authority type books and sites are definitely to be ignored. Stick with practical information on the subject and leave the judgments behind. What is most important is that both partners be comfortable before proceeding.
Once you’ve decided to proceed you need to make sure you understand how to best prepare. Condoms are always a good idea but if you’re going to bare-back it then understand that things could get a little dirty down there. It is fully possible to make this a clean and non-odorous experience. I have seen it done a million times with experienced partners and I would even bet there were fewer fluids sloshing around than in vaginal. But remember that experiences vary and it can be very difficult to know what is going on down there so don’t expect your partner to be 100% certain. Having a recent bowel movement helps a lot but you can also test yourself out in the shower to warm up and get a feel for how crunchy things may be in the ol’ sphincter. Testing yourself and cleaning the region around the hole with some soapy water is also important and I highly recommend it.
Lubricant is an absolute necessity and only the most experienced and comfortable practitioners can do without it. In any case, however, it is always better with lube as it makes the entire event cleaner, safer, and more comfortable. Apply lubricant generously to both the outside of the anus and around the penis, finger, or object you’re using. Make sure you are using a WATER-BASED lubricant like Astroglide. It is the most natural and easiest to clean away and won’t leave any residue after washing.
Before insertion you need to start small. Begin with a finger and play with the rim and work your way slightly deeper, inching in as you relax and acclimate. Make this an experience for you and your partner, it can be incredibly sexy and liberating. Once you can handle two fingers deep inside you, then you know you’re ready for the dig D.
When you’re finally ready to stick it in be prepared to do this slowly. And I mean very slowly, it may take a minute or two for you to fully insert. Guys, try not to get too excited. If you go too fast and stab your partner’s asshole with a charging dick the muscles in their anus will spasm creating a VERY unpleasant sensation that will last for several seconds. This will turn your partner off of the experience, maybe even forever, so be gentle.
Once your partner gives you the go and lets you know everything is in order and comfortable, thrust away. The anal canal will relax and widen substantially. You likely will not have to repeat the slow entry once you’ve got things started. If you pull out don’t rush back in but proceed steadily, the muscles should be relaxed enough to handle this. But as always, pay attention to your partner and their reactions.
On a personal note, for those of you that are in a hurry or are otherwise fierce in the sack, I’ve had a lot of luck with hasty insertions by simply clenching my anus tightly while the insertion takes place. This, of course, requires a lot of lube so that the object or penis can slide in despite the tension, but in my experience this clenching negates the usual spasms and once they are comfortably inside you can release slowly and continue.
By no means insert a dick, finger, or object that has been up the anus into a vagina or mouth. This is a very bad idea and for obvious reasons. As I said before, this process can be very clean and one’s dick may even appear as clean as it did before entering, but the bacteria are still there and before moving to another hole you should definitely still wash.
The receiving partner will know if something is about to happen, that’s right, I mean ol’ number two. If you feel suddenly that you’re going to drop a hot one you have some options as to how to release your partner. First off, for this reason it is always good to do anal sex in the shower where things can be cleaned quickly and efficiently, especially if you’re not up to date on your body. But otherwise do not simply release your sphincter. Clench and hold while your partner slides out. They will likely be a little dirty if you’ve had an accident but if they’ve been wearing a condom this is easily dealt with. If not, then the penetrative partner has some washing to do.
As for the receiver, keep clenching until you get to the toilet. After intense anal sex you may feel a little loose downstairs and your body may react by wanting to shit even when you don’t really have anything to drop. You may even feel a little gassy. This is normal and has happened to me many times. It goes away pretty quickly and is just your body’s way of readjusting.
If you find you are particularly nasty down there then it is time to stop and try something else. If there is only minute fecal matter then of course that is up to you and your partner to decide how to proceed. Over time, as you gain experience, you should reach a point where, as the receiver, you can accurately judge what the inside has in store for your partner.
…that this is very risky sex for promiscuous and inexperienced users. You should always be using a condom, especially if you do not 100% trust your partner. Risk of transmission of HIV is particularly high in receptive anal intercourse.
For those of you giving it as opposed to receiving it, remember this is no time to go crazy. Serious damage can be done to the rectum if you are not careful. You need to be gentle and listen to your partner and of course, lube lube lube.
The links I’ve provided have tons of practical information about the practice, joys, and risks. I suggest reading them alongside this article if you’re interested in more information on the topic.